Here at Fat Crow we are sooo much better at pictures than words and so as the deadline fast approached (three hours to go) to be GDPR compliant, by magic this appeared on the newsfeed including extremely kind permission of the original author at Writers HQ that for just a thank you "With thanks to Writers' HQ, our supreme writing commanders, glorious leaders and excellent but tiny overlords, who have verily granted us permission to use their splendid Privacy Policy" and a link to their awesome website I can adapt their words and tick GDPR off the Fat Crow Photography to do list!
Short words (written by short people)
The best bit about the GDPR is that all this has to be “concise, transparent, intelligible and easily accessible” so hold on to your hats, this is going to be the shortest, clearest and best freakin’ privacy policy you ever did see. So. Here we go…
Tl;dr
We’re a tiny, overstretched business and we don’t have the time or energy to do anything nefarious with your data. It’s not that we’re not evil – we’re as corruptible as anyone – we’re just too tired to think up a malevolent plot to steal your identity.
We collect and store the info we need to provide you with the photography service you buy from us. We occasionally stalk you via Facebook adverts. That’s really it.
Cookies
Seriously who actually cares? Do you even know what a cookie is or does? Well then. Yes we use cookies because that’s kinda how the Internet works. If you don’t want our delicious home-baked chocolate chip scripts, then you need to block cookies on your browser but don’t come crying to us when nothing does what it’s supposed to.
Stalky Vistor Tracking
Look, we’re following you, ok? We use Google Analytics, primarily to stare at the real time stats because they’re cool but also to see what stuff people looking at so we can post more of the stuff you like.
This doesn't store any super personal data about you but probably they nab your IP address, not that we’d know where to look for it or what to do with it. All we see is that a person or many people have interacted with the website in a particular way. You can mess with us by doing something totally unexpected on the website and skewing our stats. Or you could do something way more fun and useful with your time.
Data Storage
DATA!! It’s all about the data, baby. A literal tonne of petabytes whirring around the world and what? What’s it all for? WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN? What will future historians actually see of us and our slowly collapsing society? So. We store your data in a few different places and use it in a couple of different ways. You ready for this?
If you ask us to photograph you, your family, your pet or your house we will store your name, email address, postal address and phone number which is all necessary to get the job done. Your payment details ARE NOT held on the site. We obviously go to the maximum effort to keep this data secure and only one person has access to it.
We’ll be honest: we do absolutely nothing unsurprising or radical with your info it's just there locked away for the accountant and tax man.
Your Payment Details
When you book us, you will either pay through SquareUp or PayPal. We hold no payment details on the website. We have no bank or card details or nada here. SquareUp is GDPR compliant. PayPal is being totally weird about it but will have to be GDPR compliant or everyone in Europe will have to stop using it and probably they don’t want that.
Your Right To Be Deleted
FINE SEE YA THEN WE DON’T CARE. If you want to go undercover, just chuck us an email at contact@fatcrowphotography.com and we’ll delete all the info we have on you from our systems while having a passive aggressive huff about what we could have possibly done wrong.
This does not include PayPal and SquareUp. If you want to delete your PayPal or SquareUp accounts you have to do that yourself via PayPal or SquareUp. We cannot delete your purchase history because the taxman will be terribly upset.
Social Media And All That Jazz
We use social media a lot, mainly to promote our photography If you talk to us on our Facebook or Instagram page and we become familiar with you, we might find you on Twitter and say hello. You can ask us to be less friendly if you wish and we will of course respect your boundaries.
You are not required to follow our social media accounts, we will not be offended.